Distraction, self sabotage and other mind games we play when we are on our way to the most awesome place ever.
Fear still wants a hold in me. But it’s losing its power. However…. it’s raging more than ever because it is on it’s way out and it still wants to have a home in me. And I’m judging myself for still feeling fear even though I’ve faced it so many times. And I’m allowing it to distract me and giving it my energy. But it’s unworthy of my time, my energy, my affections. I have so many other things that I could be doing with my time. So many things that are so much more valuable. But reason doesn’t work against fear. The ONLY thing that conquers fear is doing the thing you want to do, but doing it afraid. I have judged situations and opportunities in my life by how much fear they give me. Then I don’t take the opportunities that give me the most fear. But I’ve recently learned that’s called self sabotage. WHAT the heck is that?
Well when we judge situations with our feelings and it doesn’t “feel good” sometimes we walk away from the very thing that would be the absolute best thing for us to do. And it can become a pattern, especially when you are trying to create a better life for yourself. A better future or better health, make more money, discipline yourself more, use more self control, face hard emotions, let go of the past, have hard conversations, make new friends, say goodbye to toxic people, etc. I bet you that one or more or maybe even all of those things made you feel uncomfortable just from reading them, but imagine walking them out. Now imagine walking out three, four or five of those things all at the same time. That is the place I am currently standing and it is the most uncomfortable I have felt since maybe junior high. LOL. But I know all this inner work will be worth it. Cause God gives grace when we need it and He guides us when we let Him. And when I don’t trust myself to make the right decision, He’s there to be like “even if you make the decision you think is wrong, I will work out all things for your good because you love me.” WOW that is real, perfect love, isn’t it? So at the end of the day, I really have nothing to fear.
One more thing that’s worth mentioning is self judgement. You gotta watch out for that beast cause it kinda goes undetected. Judging yourself can show up if you think you should have gotten over something already, or shouldn’t be afraid anymore, or should be further along. Even if you value achieving goals and being a high producer, NEVER judge yourself for what you didn’t do or couldn’t do. Leave that to God. He is WAY gentler than you are to yourself.
Praying for you to be willing to see the things that need to go, the things you need to face even though you are afraid and that you know that YOU have the control over your future. No one else can shape it like you can.